The information on this Web site is presented for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for informed medical advice or training. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a mental  health problem without consulting a qualified health or mental health care provider.

   PTSD

Like this mouse, I tried to run and hide from the ghosts of my past for 33 years. I tried it all; drugs, alcohol, sex, work, and even religion. I thought flashbacks, panic attacks, hallucinations, inability to fall or stay asleep, nightmares, depression, outbursts of anger, and failed relationships where just part of life.

       In April of 2000, I went to my local VA Medical Center to see if they could " fix " my right leg. The pain had become unbearable, and I didn't have insurance. It was service connected and that was the main reason I went. This was my first visit to a VA since 1985, when I "attended" a 30 day drug and alcohol rehab program in Lincoln Nebraska. During my visit I was sent to see a vocational rehabilitation councelor. After a short conversation, he told me to re-open my leg claim, and also open a claim for a "mental disorder". I thought this guy was f*%##* Nuts !!! I saw a VSO, re-opened my claim and left. Before I could get off the property, I was crying uncontrollably as vivid images flashed before my eyes, I could hear the sounds of combat as faces of fallen brothers, raced through my mind. Every emotion of guilt, remorse, fear and anger raged within me till my body felt it would explode.The situation grew worst over the next six days, and I had come to a place that I had only two choices; I could just "check out" (I had a very creative way that would involve a very large explosion), or I could get help. They always tell you to save the last bullet for yourself, and I figured I had two left. I chose to seek help. It was the best decision I have ever made in my life. I went to the mental health Crisis team, was immediately placed on several medications, and my long journey home, which continues today, had begun. It was April 16, 2000. It was the first time I had heard the term PTSD.

       Many of us here are already in treatment, while many more are not. This page is designed to give information, help, support  and hope to both. There is an abundance of information here, all of which will help us to deal with our ghosts.

       I have learned two very important things thru therapy. 1) no matter where you go, there you are. And 2) we did the BEST we could with what we had. Welcome to the world of PTSD.

Diagnostic Criteria

1. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present:
   1. the person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others
   2. the person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror. Note: In children, this may be expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behavior

2. The traumatic event is persistently reexperienced in one (or more) of the following ways:
   1. recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions.
      
      Note: In young children, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the trauma are expressed.
   2. recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: In children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content.
   3. acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur on awakening or when intoxicated).
      
      Note: In young children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur.
   4. intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event

3. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by three (or more) of the following: efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma
   1. efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma
   2. inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma
   3. markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities
   4. feeling of detachment or estrangement from others
   5. restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings)
   6. sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span)

4. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma), as indicated by two (or more) of the following:
   1. difficulty falling or staying asleep
   2. irritability or outbursts of anger
   3. difficulty concentrating